New Book! Talking with the Earth by Jamieson Wolf

Through his lovely poetry, Jamieson Wolf takes us on his emotional, sometimes difficult, deeply romantic journey to answer the question, “Will I find Love?” With Jamieson, we meet the stranger on the street, the soothsayer, true friends, while the author learns to let go of a painful past and move on. We are who we choose to be. Life is full of wonder and magic, where we discover our dreams can be possible. We are our passions. In these beautiful poems, we step forward with Jamieson, with courage, into the arms of love, hopeful, realizing our life is up to us.

Love Yourself First
Jamieson Wolf

When I began the poems that make up Talking with the Earth, I wasn’t planning on writing a collection full of love poems. I had not been planning on falling in love. I was working on loving myself.

 
This was incredibly hard for me to do. In 2013, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It took away my ability to write, to speak, to walk. I had to re-learn to do all of these things. However, I still didn’t like myself very much.

 
From October 2013 to January 2014, I was merely working on keeping my head above water. I liked parts of myself, sure, but not all of myself. So the beginning of the collection examined how to go about loving myself, something I had never been able to do.

 
On February 13th, I was given a push towards self-love. I was supposed to be going on a date with a guy on Valentine’s Day. He cancelled the date over a text message telling me that there was something wrong with me if I could be so happy living a halfway kind of life, that I didn’t see how damaged I really was and he couldn’t deal with someone like that.
At the time, I was crushed. I was tempted to go back down into a spiral of self-hate and loathing, but had another idea instead: No date for Valentine’s? No problem. I would take myself out for Valentine’s Day dinner, I would buy myself my own Valentine’s Day present.
I got myself a fancy watch, ate a gorgeous dinner. I picked up two romantic movies and lots of chocolate. Oddly enough, by the time I got home and started watching the movies and eating the chocolates, I wasn’t depressed. I was stunned that I had loved myself so much, something I had never been able to do.

 
Every relationship I’d been in had been focused on the other guy. I was just an entity in the relationship and if they were happy, I was happy. It didn’t concern me that I was ignoring myself so completely.

 
It all changed for me last Valentine’s Day. I realized that I did love myself and all my imperfections. I loved myself and was able to let go of years of doubt and dislike. I knew that the man I would give my heart to next would love me for me and not try to change anything about me.

 
When I met my partner Michael, it was online. I decided to be up front right away about what I had to deal with on a daily basis. I told him up front about having Cerebral Palsy and Multiple Sclerosis. I was quite blunt about it, actually. Then I pressed send and expected never to hear from him again.

 
When he wrote back, he thanked me for being up front and said that my honesty told him a lot about the type of person I was; that the world can be very judgemental about any perceived weakness of difference, but thankfully not everyone was like that and it was really a sign of my strength.

 
I was floored. Everyone I had been on dates with had reacted badly and treated me terribly. I knew that, whatever happened, I had to meet Michael. We made plans to meet at a coffee shop. It was April 4th, 2014. I almost didn’t go. I hemmed and hawed about it up until the very day. Finally I decided to go.

 
I remember walking into that coffee shop and standing in line for a coffee. Then I heard my name. I turned and Michael was there, Even though we were indoors, I swear there was a bit of sun, giving him a halo.

 
It was an instant connection. We talked for two hours and it was the longest coffee date I had ever been on. I surprised myself by saying: “Did you want to go for dinner somewhere?”

 
I couldn’t believe that the words came out of my mouth; however I’m so glad that they did. Michael changed my world and my writing changed with it.

 
The tone of the poems within Talking with the Earth began to change in tone from being a little angry to being more hopeful. They changed from being full of self-doubt and self-loathing to being about love and affection and support.

 
People kept remarking on how happy I was. I had considered myself a happy, content person before. Now, apparently, I just shone and so did my writing. Michael has changed my life and shown me what love really is.

 
To think that I owe a debt of thanks to that guy who cancelled our date last Valentine’s Day over a text message. Had he not done that I would never have made the choice to love myself and I would never had met Michael.

 
I would never have found the other half of my heart.

You can buy Talking with the Earth in paperback and ebook here!

Excerpt from Talking with the Earth

A Path of Sunlight

The path that
I used to
walk on was
one filled with
darkness and shadows.
It had gotten
to a point
where I could
recognize them
and knew some
of them so
well that they
had almost become
friends. I could
recognize their shapes,
their movements. The
path was rocky
and filled with
pieces of glass
that cut my
feet. Still, I
walked along the
path, as it
was mine to
walk, alone. The
skies were filled
with clouds and
still more shadows,
rain a constant
threat. I could
see the sun
peeking through from
time to time,
but it would
never last for
very long. Then
I came to
a turn in
the path, a
different direction from
where I had
been going, and
you were standing
there, waiting for
me, your hand
outstretched waiting to
clasp mine. When
I put my
hand in yours,
the clouds cleared,
grass began to
sprout through the
rough soil and
the sunshine shone
so brightly. I
looked around me
and the whole
world looked different.
When I looked
inside me, I
didn’t recognize myself.
You have not
only transformed my
world into something
beautiful, you have
transformed me as
well with your
love for me.
The path ahead
of me is filled
with sunlight as
long as I
walk beside you
and we walk
together towards the
future.